Living the Life of Ingratitude
Lacking even small love and small compassion,
I cannot hope to benefit sentient beings.
Were it not for the ship of Amida’s Vow,
How could I cross the ocean of painful existence?
—Shinran Shōnin, Gutoku’s Hymns of Lament and Reflection, CWS I, page
In today’s Dharma Story Time, the wonderful book “We Are Grateful: Otsaliheliga” by Traci Sorell and illustrated by Frané Lessac, we learn about how the Cherokee people express gratitude for all things: the changing seasons, changes in life stage, and the clan/tribe/community that is the Cherokee Nation.
I’d like to introduce the Japanese word, “arigatai” which is very similar in usage to “otsaliheliga” and perhaps is a bit easier to pronounce. (CHANGE SLIDE)
“Arigatai” is composed of two roots: the verb “aru” (to be, to exist), and “katai” (suffix that mean “difficult/impossible”.
Thus, something that is “arigatai” is “impossible to be”… (CHANGE SLIDE)
For the most part, I don’t live the “life of gratitude” … because I am Ego-Self-Centered, I live the life of ingratitude.
ME (MY EGO) insists, “I deserve to live in Maui!” because I am such a wonderful person, who is entitled to live in paradise!
In reflection, I have done nothing to deserve living in Maui.
ME (ME EGO) insists, “I deserve to live in Maui!” because I work hard, I’m brilliant, and because I’m spiritually superior to all by virtue of my priestly robes, chanting voice, and mastery of ritual.
In reflection, I just like the attention I get when dressed like a priest.
I also love the sound of my own voice, and the brilliance of my words.
But when my Ego-Self insists “I deserve to live in Maui!” I am forced to encounter my true self, and it’s not very pretty.
When I get angry and vent my frustration, I see myself crying like Cadence, our one-year-old grandson, who can’t talk yet so he gets frustrated when adults don’t understand what he wants!
I’m the baby in the room!
Now, babies are allowed to cry. Grandpa is supposed to be able to control his impulses!
When I get depressed over the reality-as-it-is that parts of my body are decaying fast, and hurt all the time, I feel sorry for myself.
Why ME?!
And then, I see the ocean, the sky, the clouds, and aina of Maui.
It is as if Maui say, “Aloha, kotonk dude! Open da eyes!”
(CHANGE SLIDE) “I am not worthy of living in Maui!”
How many times do I take the sheer beauty of this place for granted?
Every day.
How often do I just assume everyone in the Makawao Buddhist Temple ‘ohana will be kind and gentle to me, even if I am Mr. Grumpy?
Every day.
How often do I judge critically the ideas and efforts of other people?
Every day.
I was born and raised in Los Angeles, spent my professional career in Tokyo, Beijing, Shanghai, and eventually ended up in Hawaii.
“I’m not worthy of living in Maui! And yet, here I am…”
This is “arigatai” — it is impossible for me to be allowed to live in Maui because I have don’t nothing to deserve (in fact, I actively think, say, do things that disqualify me from living here!)… “and yet, here I am…”
(CHANGE SLIDE) “Gratitude comes from being humbled every day.”
Mahalo, Maui, for whacking across the head with rainbows, blue oceans, and white clouds EVERY DAY!
Mahalo, Makawao, for showing me how fruits and vegetables grow from seeds to plants to things you can eat!
Mahalo, Makawao chickens, for waking me up before sunrise every morning … so I can experience the sun rising over Haleakala every morning…
(CHANGE SLIDE)
The realization that I am not capable of discipline, practice, self-denial, or being virtuous, thus I will never become Buddha on my own, is a shock to my Ego-Self, who believes I am Superman.
My failure to maintain discipline, to control my urges and cravings, my fundamental inability to “think, say, do pure and beautiful” is humiliating.
“Why are you here?” my Ego-Self asks.
“What did you do to deserve being here?”
You cannot lie to yourself forever. Eventually, you realize that the Ego-Self is a total sham.
Fake ME.
The dream of ME that I’ve been pursuing is “empty.”
ME is “empty.”
(CHANGE)
And here, the words of Shinran jump out at me.
Lacking even small love and small compassion,
I cannot hope to benefit sentient beings.
Were it not for the ship of Amida’s Vow,
How could I cross the ocean of painful existence?
—Shinran Shōnin, Gutoku’s Hymns of Lament and Reflection, CWS I, page
Shinran’s intense self-reflection leads to the realization that his human love and compassion are not capable of benefiting all sentient beings; and simultaneously the realization that the ship of Amida’s Vow is his only hope, and that he is already on the ship!
“arigatai!”
“otsaliheliga!” We are grateful!
NamoAmidaButsu! Mahalo, Amida, for embracing me, of all people, just as I am, and allowing me to live in Maui!
NamoAmidaButsu!
(CHANGE SLIDE)
The essence of Shin Buddhism is the Faith of Shinjin, the Great Love and Great Compassion of Amida embracing us, assuring our Birth in the Pure Land, and thus becoming Buddha. The Faith of Shinjin empowers us to live this unrepeatable life with strength and serenity. In profound gratitude, we put our palms together, bow our heads, and say NamoAmidaButsu, entrusting in All-Inclusive Wisdom and All-Embracing Compassion.
Mahalo for listening this morning. May your day be filled with aloha!
(END)
JUST SAY MAHALO® 