Anicca, the Truth of Impermanence, is one of the Three Marks of Existence, the key Truths taught by Gautama Buddha, the historical Buddha who lived more than 2500 years ago.

We all understand, in an abstract sense, all things arising from causes and conditions are anicca “inconstant,” “impermanent” or “all things change”, “nothing stays the same.”

But what happens when the Truth of Impermanence hits home? What happens when the Truth of Impermanence is revealed in my life?

The idea of my end-of-life triggers fear, anxiety, and existential dread.

And yet, truly accepting the reality of the Truth of Impermanence frees me to truly live this moment of this day of my unrepeatable life. This is NamoAmidaButsu!

Let me share a favorite story about Buddhism and death.

The disciples ask the master, “What are your final words of wisdom?”

The master opens his eyes and says, “I don’t want to die!

The disciples are confused, expecting profound insight into the Truth.

So they ask the Master again, “What are your final words of wisdom?”

     “Really! I don’t want to die!”

The master closes his eyes, smiles, and passes from this world.

The insight is simply nobody wants to die, not even a great Zen master who has experienced the Truth. So, how about Shin Buddhists, ordinary human beings living this unrepeatable life on the Path of Nembutsu, like ourselves?

Amida’s Great Compassionate Vow to Save All Beings assures we will go forth to Birth into the Pure Land, where we become a Buddha, and return to this world in Oneness with Amida to guide all beings to their Birth into the Pure Land. NamoAmidaButsu!

When the Faith of Shinjin, the True Cause of Birth into the Pure Land, is awakened in you through the working of Amida’s Vow, your Birth and becoming Buddha is absolutely assured in this life, freeing you to truly live in each moment of every day of an unrepeatable life. NamoAmidaButsu!

Assured of Birth into the Pure Land, we settle the existential question of the after-life, liberating us to live the life we have left until we are Born into the Pure Land. NamoAmidaButsu!

So, Shin Buddhists don’t worry about what happens in the after-life but simply focus on what we are doing right here, right now, before-death! NamoAmidaButsu!

That should be the end of this reflection because the answer is always NamoAmidaButsu! but since ordained priests of the Hongwanji are also simply ordinary human beings, my experience with the Winds of Impermanence has been different.

My brother died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack in December 2024. On the day he passed, he’d played three hours of pickleball in the morning, ate a big salad for lunch, took a nap, enjoyed a healthy dinner with his wife.

They were watching pickleball on TV when he suddenly had a massive adverse cardiac event and died—even though he had never ever presented any symptoms of coronary artery disease!

The post-mortem showed 95% blockage of his coronary arteries and, if his condition had been discovered in time, he would have been a candidate for bypass surgery. My brother was 66 years old, “young” by today’s standards. NamoAmidaButsu!

And, just like that, my medical history changed so dramatically I asked my primary doctor for a referral to a cardiologist and an urgent CT scan of my heart and arteries, which is used to determine the degree of coronary artery calcification, or how clogged up one’s arteries are.

The results are scored on a scale 0 to 400, where anything over 400 is “really bad ” requiring immediate medical treatment. My score was 5150, which means I should already be dead!

Full disclosure, I smoked cigarettes for 35 years, have been overweight many times, never exercised regularly, ate what I liked, drank too much alcohol for most of my life, and worked in China for three years, so who knows what kind of toxins and heavy metals are already in my body.

I gained so much weight, drank so much alcohol, and smoked so many cigarettes in China that my doctor said “you will die within five years if you don’t do something immediately,” so I took high doses of statins, Traditional Chinese Medicine, changed my diet, and lost 40 pounds in three months so we could win the Weight Watchers business in China.

So, you’d think I know better…BUT now I’m taking statins (again) to lower my cholesterol, changing my diet dramatically, and trying hard to get back into exercise on a regular basis.

After two months of taking statins, switching to a heart-healthy diet, and (sort of) exercising, I recently saw the cardiologist—my cholesterol has dropped in half, which is good.

Reality-as-My-Ego-Wants: if I keep taking medication, if I eat a healthy diet, if I exercise more, if I lower my stress levels, and improve sleep patterns = I won’t die, I’ll live a long time, I’ll enjoy my old age!

Reality-as-it-is: none of these things will improve my condition; you can’t “reverse” plaque build-up in arteries. Best case, these changes will prevent things from getting worse.

The absolute Truth is there is no way to predict the “probability” and thus the “timing” of when I could have a massive heart attack or fatal stroke!

ME (my ego) thinks, “Oh my Buddha, I could die at any time!”

Even though I read the Letter on White Ashes at every end-of-life service, every memorial service, every funeral service, the Truth of Impermanence was still a huge shock when it knocked on my door.

But viewed as reality-as-it-is: now is no different than before I knew I have a serious medical condition, NamoAmidaButsu!

ME (my ego) thinks, “Oh my Buddha, I’m going to die!”

ME being me, I immediately start researching everything about coronary artery disease, peripheral artery disease, diagnostic tools, treatment options, alternative treatments, etc.

As a self-centered ordinary human being, my conclusion is: Iʻm doing what I can.

As a Buddhist, my conclusion is: even in the best case, I still die of something! Very likely from a heart attack or stroke—or something completely different—but in the end, I still die.

And, as a Buddhist, as an ordained Buddhist priest, as a credentialed teacher of the BuddhaDharma, as a Hongwanji temple minister, Iʻm supposed to know this Truth BUT…

ME (my ego) thinks, “Oh my Buddha, I don’t want to die!”

Now, ME (my ego) wants to think I’ll be like the Zen Master in the story: close my eyes, smile, and pass quietly from this world and go forth to Birth into the Pure Land and return in Oneness with Amida.

Reality? I’m pretty sure I’ll be kicking and screaming, “Death be not proud!” and being a pain-in-the-okole patient who irritates even the most compassionate doctors, nurses, technicians, specialists, nurses aides, and chaplains.

So what to do? Taking medications, eating a heart-healthy diet, exercising more, sleeping better, lowering stress are all I can do at this point, so I do it!

“If something needs to be done, then do it, and do it wholeheartedly.”

—The Buddha, Dhammapada, verse 313

This led me to the realization what Buddhism is teaching ME (my Ego):

“Constant change is what makes life so sweet.”

From left: my birth photo 1960; son 1987; granddaughter 2012; grandson 2020.

Constant change is what makes life so rare and wondrous, all sweetness in life exists because all things change. Constant change is why I experience such joy in our son being a father, our granddaughter becoming a teenager, and our grandson being a sweet but smarter-than-grandpa little boy! 

From left: Me holding granddaughter in Oahu; Mimy playing with granddaughter on the floor; Mimy teaching granddaughter to love cooking.

All of this is Amida Buddha working in my life, guiding me to my Birth into the Pure Land. NamoAmidaButsu!

From left: three generations of Kiyohara men making funny faces; playing with grandson on Kaimana Beach; the three of us wearing funny hats at a wedding in Honolulu.

When the Winds of Impermanence blow, we are brought to see reality-as-it-is.

When the Winds of Impermanence blow, the joy of life is revealed to us.

When the Winds of Impermanence blow, the preciousness of each moment of every day of this unrepeatable life becomes crystal clear.

NamoAmidaButsu!

May your days be filled with aloha, mahalo, and ʻohana!

Kerry